The Leaves are Changing

Well, I have to say that fall has come officially. It has been pretty nice thought for the most part. I LOVE this time of year. It's sooo gorgeous outside, with the leaves changing and all. Halloween is such a fun holiday in my opinion. I don't really celebrate it much anymore but I sure do have some wonderful childhood memories from it. Up here in our apartment we back up to a field & some woods, so we get to see all the beautiful colors everyday. It almost feels as if I was at home back in Mason. Pumpkin is one of my favorite flavors and scents, so it obviously fits this season!

Sky should come home in a little over 3 months, which could not come sooner.  Lately it's been tough to talk a lot because I've been so busy with school and he has been busy as well, but we Skype whenever the opportunity is there. I tell him all the time how much I wish I could just fly over to Afghanistan and bring him home right now. Its so tough sometimes when we are apart because I feel like I just need his advice right away or I need to call him up to tell him something, but I just can't do that.  I don't think I will ever get used to that until he is back home and everything is back to normal. I have such a hard time with understanding what information he as a soldier can give me without breaking the law or whatever it is considered. I see him upset, and it makes me upset. Lately it's been affecting my mood a lot, and I feel awful for letting it do that, so I try my best to not let it show. Thank God for my roommates who can sit there and just let me vent all my frustrations out. I honestly couldnt be more proud of Sky for what he is doing. I know he is BEYOND ready to come home, and obviously I'm ready for him to come home too, but we are finally on the last stretch of the long journey & hopefully he will never have to be gone like this again. I give so much support out to all of the wives, husbands, and families who go through deployment multiple times in their lives.  Gosh, that has got to be so hard. I see pictures on the internet, or watch coming home videos and I just cryyyyyy because I have never been so excited for something in my life. It's all I can think about these days. When I am stressed, I just think about what that moment is going to be like.  I remember from the day he left, we stood on the side of the road watching the buses drive away as my mom & Sheri stood behind me crying as I was balling. I didnt cry that entire day until that moment. I was so proud, scared, anxious, happy...every emotion in the book I felt that day. I just can't wait to watch those buses pull back into that parking lot again. It's times like these that I will never, ever forget.

The Beginning

So this blogging thing...

I've read through some blogs lately and it's been making me think a lot about starting one about my experiences, thoughts, and everyday events that I go through on a daily basis while my loved one is deployed. I've been keeping a journal of all the things that happen while Sky is gone, but I've been slacking majorly lately.  It seems as if I'm always on my computer doing homework, searching the web, pinteresting, tweeting, etc., so why not start a blog?!

So, as many people know, my boyfriend Sky is deployed in Afghanistan right now.  He's been there since February and he will most likely be there a full year unfortunately without leave. It's the military...so things change all the time which means that I probably will never know an exact date that he will be home until he is actually back here in the states. He is in the Army, and has been since right after high school.  We've been together for almost 2 years now and I couldn't imagine my life any differently.

I knew when I met him that there was a chance he could be deploying anytime.  Actually, he was supposed to deploy a couple months after we met, but that didn't happen...thank God.  Now he has been gone for almost 7 months, and I can't believe how fast time has gone by.  I tell everyone when they ask me how I'm doing that there are some really good days and some bad ones as well.  It gets hard sometimes, but I wouldn't do it if I didn't see a future with him. I've always been the type of person who is happy and bubbly.  I love being around people.  I have read so many blogs, tweets, articles, and even watched TV shows where women just sit at home and are so lonely all the time. I can't do that.  I've never been that way...and I will never let myself become that way.  I can't just sit at home and be lonely, because that will change me and who I've always been. Life is too short.  I told Sky before he left, "I will be the same person I am now when you come home...I promise you that."  He knows who I am as a person, and I wanted to make him know, that even if everything else were to change in the year that he is gone, I would be there a year later.  There are days that him being gone realllllllly takes a toll on me.  The first half of deployment, seemed to go by so slow at the time.  I wasn't able to hear from him but maybe once a week through a Facebook message, and if we were lucky he got to call me for a couple minutes.  This was really hard at first. I went from him being home and being only a phone call away if I was at school, to being thousands of miles away with very little communication.  It felt as if I had temporarily lost my best friend.  Over time I learned to deal with it, but my phone was ALWAYS on the loudest volume.  The only time I've ever missed a phone call was the very first time he was able to call me, and luckily he called back ten minutes later and we got to talk. If you're wondering if I sit by my phone and just wait for it to ring, then the answer to that question is no, but I usually always have my phone near me so I can hear the volume if it rings.  

I have to continue my everyday life like I normally would do if he were here.  I'm going to school to be a Special Education teacher right now, and I still have a little under 4 years left.  I chose to come to Grand Valley because that was the best thing to do for my future in education.  Sky has fully supported me with school and always will.  He does a great job showing that, even when he is deployed.  Being back in school really makes time fly. I am SOO busy doing homework all the time that it is making the days go by so fast... which means closer to homecoming time :)  It helps a lot that I live with some of my best friends.  I couldn't do it without them.  They're always there to listen to me tell my happy stories, complain about stupid things, and even cry if I have to.  My friends and family are my biggest supporters through this deployment.  It's not even just the friends that I live with. I have best friends all over the map that send me texts, tweets, messages of any kind about how they are thinking about me and such.  Every time it's a reminder that I'm not alone in this. I have so many supporters and I'm so lucky to be blessed with each and every one of them.

"The task AHEAD of you is never as strong as the power BEHIND you. Everything is possible for those who believe."